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Happy New Year with Faith Is for the Future

Remembering Lot’s Wife: Faith Is for the Future by Elder Jeffrey R Holland 13 January 2009 https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jeffrey-r-holland_remember-lots-wife/

The start of a new year is the traditional time to take stock of our lives and see where we are going, measured against the backdrop of where we have been. I don’t want to talk to you about New Year’s resolutions, because you only made five of them and you have already broken four. (I give that remaining one just another week.) But I do want to talk to you about the past and the future, not so much in terms of New Year’s commitments per se, but more with an eye toward any time of transition and change in your lives—and those moments come virtually every day of our lives.

As a scriptural theme for this discussion, I have chosen the second-shortest verse in all of holy scripture. I am told that the shortest verse—a verse that every missionary memorizes and holds ready in case he is called on spontaneously in a zone conference—is John 11:35: “Jesus wept.” Elders, here is a second option, another shortie that will dazzle your mission president in case you are called on two zone conferences in a row. It is Luke 17:32, where the Savior cautions, “Remember Lot’s wife.”

Hmmm. What did He mean by such an enigmatic little phrase? To find out, I suppose we need to do as He suggested. Let’s recall who Lot’s wife was.

The original story, of course, comes to us out of the days of Sodom and Gomorrah, when the Lord, having had as much as He could stand of the worst that men and women could do, told Lot and his family to flee because those cities were about to be destroyed. “Escape for thy life,” the Lord said, “look not behind thee . . . ; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed” (Genesis 19:17; emphasis added).

With less than immediate obedience and more than a little negotiation, Lot and his family ultimately did leave town, but just in the nick of time. The scriptures tell us what happened at daybreak the morning following their escape:

The Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven;

And he overthrew those cities. [Genesis 19:24–25]

              Then our theme today comes in the next verse. Surely, surely, with the Lord’s counsel “look not behind thee” ringing clearly in her ears, Lot’s wife, the record says, “looked back,” and she was turned into a pillar of salt.

In the time we have this morning, I am not going to talk to you about the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah, nor of the comparison the Lord Himself has made to those days and our own time. I am not even going to talk about obedience and disobedience. I just want to talk to you for a few minutes about looking back and looking ahead.

One of the purposes of history is to teach us the lessons of life. George Santayana, who should be more widely read than he is on a college campus, is best known for saying, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” (Reason in Common Sense, vol. 1 of The Life of Reason [1905–1906]).

So, if history is this important—and it surely is—what did Lot’s wife do that was so wrong? As something of a student of history, I have thought about that and offer this as a partial answer. Apparently what was wrong with Lot’s wife was that she wasn’t just looking back; in her heart she wanted to go back. It would appear that even before they were past the city limits, she was already missing what Sodom and Gomorrah had offered her. As Elder Maxwell once said, such people know they should have their primary residence in Zion, but they still hope to keep a summer cottage in Babylon (see Larry W. Gibbons, “Wherefore, Settle This in Your Hearts,” Ensign, November 2006, 102; also Neal A. Maxwell, A Wonderful Flood of Light [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1990], 47).

It is possible that Lot’s wife looked back with resentment toward the Lord for what He was asking her to leave behind. We certainly know that Laman and Lemuel were resentful when Lehi and his family were commanded to leave Jerusalem. So it isn’t just that she looked back; she looked back longingly. In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future. That, apparently, was at least part of her sin.

So, as a new year starts and we try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before, I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone, nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives. So a more theological way to talk about Lot’s wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord’s ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently she thought—fatally, as it turned out—that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as those moments she was leaving behind.

It is here at this moment in this little story that we wish Lot’s wife had been a student at BYU enrolled in a freshman English class. With any luck, she might have read, as I did, this verse from Edwin Arlington Robinson:

Miniver Cheevy, child of scorn,

Grew lean while he assailed the seasons;

He wept that he was ever born

And he had reasons.

Miniver loved the days of old

When swords were bright and steeds were prancing;

The vision of a warrior bold

Would set him dancing.

Miniver sighed for what was not,

And dreamed, and rested from his labors;

He dreamed of Thebes and Camelot,

And Priam’s neighbors. . . .

Miniver cursed the commonplace

And eyed a khaki suit with loathing;

He missed the medieval grace

Of iron clothing. . . .

Miniver Cheevy, born too late,

Scratched his head and kept on thinking;

Miniver coughed, and called it fate,

And kept on drinking.

[Miniver Cheevy (1910), stanzas 1–3, 6, 8]

To yearn to go back to a world that cannot be lived in now; to be perennially dissatisfied with present circumstances and have only dismal views of the future; to miss the here-and-now-and-tomorrow because we are so trapped in the there-and-then-and-yesterday—these are some of the sins, if we may call them that, of both Lot’s wife and old Mr. Cheevy. (Now, as a passing comment, I don’t know whether Lot’s wife, like Miniver, was a drinker, but if she was, she certainly ended up with plenty of salt for her pretzels.)

One of my favorite books of the New Testament is Paul’s too-seldom-read letter to the Philippians. After reviewing the very privileged and rewarding life of his early years—his birthright, his education, his standing in the Jewish community—Paul says that all of that was nothing (“dung” he calls it) compared to his conversion to Christianity. He says, and I paraphrase: “I have stopped rhapsodizing about ‘the good old days’ and now eagerly look toward the future ‘that I may apprehend that for which Christ apprehended me.’” Then comes this verse:

This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. [Philippians 3:13–14]

No Lot’s wife here. No looking back at Sodom and Gomorrah here. Paul knows it is out there in the future, up ahead wherever heaven is taking us where we will win “the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

At this point, let me pause and add a lesson that applies both in your own life and also in the lives of others. There is something in us, at least in too many of us, that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life—either mistakes we ourselves have made or the mistakes of others. That is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes—our own or other people’s—is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist.

I was told once of a young man who for many years was more or less the brunt of every joke in his school. He had some disadvantages, and it was easy for his peers to tease him. Later in his life he moved away from his community. He eventually joined the army and had some successful experiences there in getting an education and generally stepping away from his past. Above all, as many in the military do, he discovered the beauty and majesty of the Church and became very active and happy in it.

Then, after several years, he came back to the town of his youth. Most of his generation had moved on, but not all. Apparently when he returned quite successful and quite reborn, the same old mind-set that had existed before was still there, waiting for his return. To the people in his hometown he was still just old “so and so”—you remember the guy who had the problem, that idiosyncrasy, this quirky nature, and did such and such and such and such. And wasn’t it all just hilarious?

Well, you know what happened. Little by little this man’s Pauline effort to leave that which was behind and grasp the prize that God had laid before him was gradually diminished until he died about the way he had lived in his youth. He came full circle: again inactive and unhappy and the brunt of a new generation of jokes. Yet he had had that one bright, beautiful midlife moment when he had been able to rise above his past and truly see who he was and what he could become. Too bad, too sad, that he was again to be surrounded by a whole batch of Lot’s wives, those who thought his past was more interesting than his future. Yes, they managed to rip out of his grasp that for which Christ had grasped him. And he died even more sadly than Miniver Cheevy, though as far as I know the story, through absolutely no fault of his own.

That happens in marriages, too, and in other relationships we have. I can’t tell you the number of couples I have counseled who, when they are deeply hurt or even just deeply stressed, reach farther and farther into the past to find yet a bigger brick to throw through the window “pain” of their marriage. When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal.

Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat!

Well, guess what? That is probably going to result in some ugly morsel being dug up out of your landfill with the reply, “Yeah, I remember it. Do you remember this?” Splat.

And soon enough everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and kindness and happiness and healing.

Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is worse than Miniver Cheevy, and in some ways worse than Lot’s wife, because at least there he and she were only destroying themselves. In these cases of marriage and family and wards and apartments and neighborhoods, we can end up destroying so many, many others.

Perhaps at this beginning of a new year there is no greater requirement for us than to do as the Lord Himself said He does: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42).

The proviso, of course, is that repentance has to be sincere, but when it is and when honest effort is being made to progress, we are guilty of the greater sin if we keep remembering and recalling and rebashing someone with their earlier mistakes—and that “someone” might be ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves, often much more so than with others!

Now, like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies of the Book of Mormon, bury your weapons of war, and leave them buried. Forgive, and do that which is harder than to forgive: Forget. And when it comes to mind again, forget it again.

You can remember just enough to avoid repeating the mistake, but then put the rest of it all on the dung heap Paul spoke of to those Philippians. Dismiss the destructive and keep dismissing it until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future and the bright future of your family and your friends and your neighbors. God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go. That is the thing Lot’s wife didn’t get—and neither did Laman and Lemuel and a host of others in the scriptures.

This is an important matter to consider at the start of a new year—and every day ought to be the start of a new year and a new life. Such is the wonder of faith and repentance and the miracle of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

We started this hour with a little verse remembered from one of my BYU English classes. May I move toward a close with a few lines from another favorite poet whom I probably met in that same class or one similar to it. For the benefit of all BYU students in the new year of 2009, Robert Browning wrote:

Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made:

Our times are in His hand

Who saith, “A whole I planned,

Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”

[Rabbi Ben Ezra (1864), stanza 1]

Sister Holland and I were married about the time both of us were reading poems like that in BYU classrooms. We were as starstruck—and as fearful—as most of you are at these ages and stages of life. We had absolutely no money. Zero. For a variety of reasons, neither of our families was able to help finance our education. We had a small apartment just south of campus—the smallest we could find: two rooms and a half bath. We were both working too many hours trying to stay afloat financially, but we had no other choice.

I remember one fall day—I think it was in the first semester after our marriage in 1963—we were walking together up the hill past the Maeser Building on the sidewalk that led between the President’s Home and the Brimhall Building. Somewhere on that path we stopped and wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. Life that day seemed so overwhelming, and the undergraduate plus graduate years that we still anticipated before us seemed monumental, nearly insurmountable. Our love for each other and our commitment to the gospel were strong, but most of all the other temporal things around us seemed particularly ominous.

On a spot that I could probably still mark for you today, I turned to Pat and said something like this: “Honey, should we give up? I can get a good job and carve out a good living for us. I can do some things. I’ll be okay without a degree. Should we stop trying to tackle what right now seems so difficult to face?”

In my best reenactment of Lot’s wife, I said, in effect, “Let’s go back. Let’s go home. The future holds nothing for us.”

Then my beloved little bride did what she has done for 45 years since then. She grabbed me by the lapels and said, “We are not going back. We are not going home. The future holds everything for us.”

She stood there in the sunlight that day and gave me a real talk. I don’t recall that she quoted Paul, but there was certainly plenty in her voice that said she was committed to setting aside all that was past in order to “press toward the mark” and seize the prize of God that lay yet ahead. It was a living demonstration of faith. It was “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). So we laughed, kept walking, and finished up sharing a root beer—one glass, two straws—at the then newly constructed Wilkinson Center.

Twenty years later I would, on occasion, look out of the window of the President’s Home across the street from the Brimhall Building and picture there on the sidewalk two newlywed BYU students, down on their money and down even more on their confidence. And as I would gaze out that window, usually at night, I would occasionally see not Pat and Jeff Holland but you and you and you, walking that same sidewalk. I would see you sometimes as couples, sometimes as a group of friends, sometimes as just a lone student. I knew something of what you were feeling. Some of you were having thoughts such as these: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new semester or a new major or a new romance hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to go home?

To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come.”

My young brothers and sisters, I pray you will have a wonderful semester, a wonderful new year, and a wonderful life all filled with faith and hope and charity. Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. That is a New Year’s resolution I ask you to keep, and I leave a blessing on you—every one of you—to be able to do so and to be happy, in the name of Him who makes it all possible, even the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

He Is on Our Side...When We do Right!

Sunday - How to Prepare for Sacrament Meeting

Merry Christmas 2015!

Isaiah 9:6
Unto Us a Child is Born!
Unto Us a Son is Given:
and the government shall be upon his shoulder:
and his name shall be called
WONDERFUL, COUNSELLOR,
THE MIGHT GOD, THE EVERLASTING FATHER,
THE PRINCE OF PEACE.

JOY to the World Comes through Jesus Christ, Our Savior!

JOY: a condition of great happiness coming from righteous living. The purpose of mortal life is for all people to have JOY. A full JOY will come only through Jesus Christ.


And for this cause ye shall have fullness of JOY; and ye shall sit down in the kingdom of my Father; yea, your JOY shall be full, even as the Father hath given me fullness of JOY; and ye shall be even as I am, and I am even as the Father; and the Father and I are one  
- 3 Nephi 28:10

J O Y !

Keep Looking Up!

2015 First Presidency Christmas Message

          Recently, the Church has been doing much to spread the love and light of the Savior throughout the world at the start of this festive Christmas season. On Sunday, November 29th, they released two movies, "A Savior Is Born" and another showing what the world would be like without a Savior and why we need Him in our lives.

          In addition, the Church has been collaborating with YouTube stars and LDS celebrities like David Archuleta, Lindsey Stirling, Alex Boye, Jenny Oaks Baker, Peter Hollens, and the cast of Studio C to create a "12 Days of Social" countdown calendar. With so much beautiful and inspiring content, it's easier now than it ever has been before to share the message of the Savior's birth, life, death, and glorious atonement and resurrection.

          On December 4th, the First Presidency added their own witness to all of these others worldwide, sharing this 2015 Christmas message:

We find the real joy of Christmas when we make the Savior the focus of the season. We can keep Him in our thoughts and in our lives as we go about the work He would have us perform here on earth. At this time, particularly, let us follow His example as we love and serve our fellowmen.

Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting. It is happiness because we see joy in people. It is forgetting self and finding time for others. It is peace because we have found peace in the Savior’s teachings. It is the time we realize most deeply that the more love is expended, the more there is of it for others.

         

Let Us Adore Him by Dana Mario Wood. “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given” (Isaiah 9:6). The Wise Men who traveled long distances to see the divine Child, whose birth had been long foretold, crossed physical and social barriers to “come . . . adore him” (Hymns, no. 202). Wood’s title is an invitation for all to come and adore the Savior, the Redeemer of the world. Said Wood, “This piece marks my awe of the faith of early followers who heralded Christ’s birth and traveled a great distance by faith.” Painting appears in the “Tell Me the Stories of Jesus” online exhibit for the 10th International Art Competition. Photo courtesy Church History Museum.

As the Christmas season envelops us with all its glory, may we, as did the Wise Men, seek a bright, particular star to guide us to our Christmas opportunity in service to our fellowman. May we all make the journey to Bethlehem in spirit, taking with us a tender, caring heart as our gift to the Savior. And may one and all have a joy-filled Christmas.

         

Lead image from LDS.org. We Are Come to Worship Him by Meagan Ruth Getz. The story of the Magi is one of absolute faith. Their journey to first identify and then follow the star—a sign from God testifying of the birth of the Savior—attests to their spiritual sensitivity. Led by the Spirit, they completed their arduous journey. While their identity is not known, their witness of the birth of the Messiah makes clear their holy and prophetic mission. Painting appears in the “Tell Me the Stories of Jesus” online exhibit for the 10th International Art Competition. Photo courtesy Church History Museum.

A Savior Is Born—Christmas Video

We Talk of Christ...

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Prayers for Paris

Conversion, Your Own

Reach UP not Across

Prayerfully select mentors who have your spiritual well-being at heart. Be careful about taking advice from your peers. If you want more than you now have, reach UP, not across! - Robert D Hales

Words to Live By

Good Test for Eternal Companions

Trust in God

What Will It Matter

Elder Richard G Scott Dies at Age 86

Another beloved servant of God passes away in 2015.

You will be missed, Elder Scott, but not forgotten. Wisdom and great insight from you have touched our hearts. For instance:

"Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit."

Choose Obedience

How to Manage Your Interaction(s) with Mormon Missionaries

How to Manage Mormon Missionaries

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mette-ivie-harrison/how-to-manage-mormon-missionaries_b_8032206.html

Mormon missionaries have become so much of a cultural joke that there is a Broadway musical about them. Everyone knows what Mormon missionaries look like: classic dark suits with white shirts and ties, and that iconic name badge with "Elder Last Name" or "Sister Last Name" and the full name of the Mormon church: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Mormon missionaries are always trying to get you to take a copy of The Book of Mormon and to tell you about their crazy cult, right? They just want to get you baptized so you count toward their points to heaven. And so the only thing to do is to close the door in their faces or run away and hide. If you don't, they're sure to bore you for the next three hours talking about Joseph Smith, their special bible, and getting married in their secret temple ceremonies.

I know all the clichés. We Mormons sometimes make fun of them ourselves. But as a mother whose daughter recently returned from the Houston, Texas mission, I've found that I have new insights about what is the best thing to do in various situations.

A few facts about missionaries that might help you understand who they are and why they do what they do:

1. Male Mormon missionaries are usually between the ages of 18 and 20, sister missionaries between the ages of 19 and 21. That's pretty young. The older I get, the younger it seems. These are practically babies out there. They're barely out of high school.

2. Many Mormon missionaries fund their mission from their own savings, sometimes with the help of their parents, sometimes with the help of the church as a whole. They save their whole lives to go on a mission. When other teens are saving money to buy clothes, a car, or for college, many Mormon teens are instead saving to go on a mission.

3. Missionaries are supposed to live on a fairly strict budget during their mission. With this money, they buy their own clothing and food, have a limited number of miles they can use if they have access to a car, and often have no money/miles at the end of the month for food.

4. Mormon missionaries are only supposed to do work related to their mission except on "P-day" (once a week they have a preparation day where they can dress down a bit and do laundry, but they still have a lot of rules they're following). They really can't just sit down at a restaurant to go to lunch unless they're teaching the gospel. They can't go to movies or other entertainment.

5. Mormon missionaries aren't supposed to talk to family and friends basically for the course of their entire mission. For sisters, that's 18 months; for elders, it's two years. That's a long time for kids this age to go without family contact. They can email once a week only. And they get to Skype or make a phone call on Christmas and Mother's Day. That's it. They can be very lonely and crave some kind of positive human contact.

6. Mormon missionaries have VERY little training in theology or religion. Since they're only high school graduates, you can imagine. Sure, they've been in Sunday school all their lives and they've taken a four year course in high school called "Seminary" (most of them). They also spend a few weeks at a Missionary Training Center (MTC) where they are taught the basic lessons to offer investigators. They're not interested in sparring with people about religious history or doctrine.

7. Hundreds of Mormon missionaries are watched over by a Mission President and his wife, kind of a mission "Mom" and "Dad," who watch over them, call them to talk about problems, and enforce a lot of the strictest rules in hopes of preventing the biggest problems they see happening (the elders and sisters dating, for instance, is a big no-no).

8. No one physically forces someone to go on a mission, but there is a lot of cultural pressure to go, especially for young men. Not every Mormon missionary is gung-ho and some are suffering with real mental illnesses, diagnosed or undiagnosed. Young men who don't go or go home early suffer stigmas for the rest of their lives. This is real and not something I'm particularly proud of when it comes to Mormonism.

9. Mormon missionaries are supposed to be with their companions. All the time. Every day. They can't go anywhere without their companion. Yes, I'm serious about this. When my daughter came home, it took her weeks to get used to the idea that she could go places on her own.

10. Mormon missionaries often eat only at the homes of members or those who invite them over to teach. This means they are often at the whim of other people's tastes. It can be very difficult for picky eaters or for anyone who wants to eat healthy.

This may sound like a horrible situation to be in, but compare it to Boot Camp if you're joining the army. There are a lot of similarities. Mormon missionaries are doing something very difficult for an extended period of time. They have given up a lot of their choices and are told that they will be blessed by God for doing so.

Some missionaries come home and say it was "the best two years" of their life. Many don't. Some leave the church after a difficult mission. Some really grow up and go on to lead more productive lives. Missionaries are not all the same, despite the fact that they look the same to outsiders.

If you truly do NOT want to listen to any lessons about Mormonism, here are some suggestions:

1. Don't say that you're not available right now, but that you'd love to listen if they'd come back at a later time. This happens to all missionaries and you're probably just trying to avoid being rude, but missionaries are absurdly hopeful and they will keep coming back for quite a while.

2. Instead say that you're not interested. Say it kindly and politely, but be honest. Say you already have your own church you're happy with. Say you don't believe in God. Say you don't like organized religion. (I don't recommend saying that you know that Mormons are polygamous and you don't want to join a cult--the missionaries will feel obliged to correct you about this.)

3. Don't make an appointment with a missionary at a time when you know you will not be home. This may seem like an easy way to get out of having to tell them you're not interested, but it's rude. Missionaries always follow up on appointments and sometimes they will either walk or bike to your house and find you not there. Then they will have to call and hound you to find out why. It's just easier to say no to begin with.

4. If you're curious about Mormonism, but have no interest in joining, you can be honest and upfront about this as well. Missionaries can decide for themselves then if they have time just trying to build goodwill with non-members rather than trying to find someone who might be more genuinely interested in joining.

5. More and more, missionaries are encouraged to make appointments as much as possible and do less street "tracting," which has been proven statistically to be less effective. This means that if you have a Mormon friend who has asked if you'd like to hear more about the gospel, it's likely they will have you meet missionaries in their home rather than teaching you about it themselves. "Every member a missionary" is a common phrase in Mormonism. Some Mormons are more fervent in their attention to this duty than others.

6. If you've had lessons from the missionaries and are not interested in more, again, please be up front about this. The missionaries will be sad, but it's better than them spending hours over the next few months trying to follow up.

7. You may feel like it's best to confront missionaries with the "truth" about Mormonism, telling them about Joseph Smith's multiple wives, or other horrible things you've heard about the church. You may think that you're being kind to them by helping them get out of the "cult" they're caught in. I really don't think this is helpful. Most missionaries have grown a pretty thick skin about anti-Mormon stuff and won't listen to you at all. You can find members who are more willing and able to deal with walking you through some of the messy parts of the church's past.

Of course, you have no obligation to help out Mormon missionaries you see. But if you worry about them, here are some things you can do to show kindness without suggesting that you want to hear a spiritual message:

1. Offer a drink of water, especially in the summer time. (They can't have iced tea or coffee, however. Some will refuse a Coke because it has caffeine, but other soft drinks should be fine.)

2. Smile and give some words of encouragement.

3. Watch out for them or give them some words of warning if you feel that it is necessary and they are, for instance, going into a dangerous neighborhood.

4. Ask them about genealogy. Even if you're not interested in hearing about the "gospel," missionaries can and will show you how to use the Mormon church's genealogical resources, which are huge. It counts as missionary work even if you're just researching your family history.

5. You can offer to give them a ride somewhere if you see them walking. Especially if it's the end of the month and they're going a long distance, they may not be allowed to use their car if they've already gone too many miles in it.

I am so grateful for people who treated my daughter well and looked out for her on her mission, non-Mormon and Mormon alike. I don't particularly care how many people she converted to Mormonism. The experience was a wonderful one for her, and I think it made her more optimistic about humanity, more comfortable in her own skin, more confident talking to strangers, and it gave her a pool of friends who have shared the same experience and whom she will never forget. That's what I'd like for all Mormon missionaries out there. If you're a non-member, you don't have to spend hours with missionaries to be kind to them. And if you feel they are an annoyance, I hope I've given some useful hints about how to deal with them in a kind way without offering false hopes.

Food for Thought

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal

"America did not create religious liberty. Religious liberty created the United States of America." --Gov Jindal

Three Things to Do about Religious Freedom

See others through a lens of fairness. Treat them with respect and kindness and expect the same treatment in return. Stand up for fairness.

3 Things to Do about Religious Freedom
Elder Ronald A Rasband
BYU 15 Sept 2015
http://ldsmag.com/elder-ronald-a-rasbands-landmark-talk-at-byu-3-things-to-do-about-religious-freedom/

Elder Ronald A. Rasband gave BYU students important perspective on religious freedom and fairness to all in a landmark devotional Tuesday, Sept. 15. He said that in preparing his remarks he had worked closely with the Public Affairs Committee of the Church which is headed by Elder D. Todd Christofferson.

He said, “Because you are a sophisticated and intelligent audience, I intend to speak to you with the candor your generation craves. I suspect that for some of you the phrase religious freedom feels more like freedom to discriminate. I want to talk to you about this view and help you understand what the Church means when it talks religious freedom and why it is so vitally important for your future and for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

“Some in your age group wonder why religious groups are involved in politics in the first place and are often skeptical of the motives of religious people when they do so. In recent years, the collective voice of groups who feel that religion should not play a role in political deliberation has grown louder.

“The opportunity to be involved in the political process is a privilege given to every citizen. Our laws and legislation play an important teaching role in shaping our social and moral culture. We need every individual in society to take an active role in engaging in civic dialogue that helps frame laws and legislation that are fair for everyone.”

To explain what Elder Rasband meant by religious freedom he told the hypothetical stories of two people, both in careers that were important to them and where they hoped to make a good impression.

The first is Ethan who had started his job in a career he longed for and wants to make a good impression. He comes early, stays late and does excellent work. Then one day at lunch he shares with some of his co-workers that he is gay. Awkwardness follows in this conservative environment and Ethan feels hurt and rejected. Things become increasingly more difficult at work for him and he finds himself excluded from large projects and social activities. His productivity suffers and soon his boss feels that he is not keeping up and fires him. “Despite all claims to the contrary, Ethan knows he has been fired for being gay.”

Then there’s Samantha who works in the administrative offices of a local university. She loves her job in a stimulating environment, full of diversity until one day a co-worker approaches her and asks if she is a Mormon. When Samantha cheerfully responds that she is, the co-worker asks, “Why do you hate gays?” Samantha is surprised by the question but tries to explain her belief in God and his commandments which includes guidelines on moral and sexual behavior. Soon other co-workers begin to confront her with questions and attacks and her boss cautions her against proselytizing at work or her job will be in jeopardy. Her work, like Ethan’s begins to suffer, and rather than risk being fired, Samantha starts to look for another job.

Elder Rasband said, “Now these are hypothetical stories and yet they are not. There are many Samantha’s and Ethan’s. However we choose to live and whatever choices we make, we share a common humanity and desire for fairness and kindness. Ethan should not have been fired for being gay and Samantha should not have been intimidated for being religious. Both were wrongly criticized, judged and retaliated against.

“Now in today’s society it is politically correct to empathize with Ethan’s situation but less so with Samantha’s. Ethan may find his case picked up by an advocacy group as yet another example of anti-gay discrimination and indeed he does deserve protection. But what about Samantha? Who will defend her right to religious conscience? What about her right to live authentically as a person of faith, committed to love and serving everyone, but also with the right to choose what is right and wrong and to live her life accordingly? Our society has become so blind by its quest to redress wrongful discrimination against one class of people that it is now in danger of creating another victimized class–people of faith like you and me.

“Already some religious schools are being questions because they require students and faculty to adhere to an honor code that requires fidelity and chastity,” Elder Rasband noted. “CEO’s of large companies have been marginalized or forced to resign because their personal religious views are no longer politically acceptable. And some businesses have been forced to close because their owners have spoken their conscience.

“Despite what you may have read or heard over the years, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has stood consistently for freedom of choice and conscience. Many years ago the prophet Joseph Smith wrote, “We believe that all men are created equal and that all have the privilege of thinking for themselves upon all matters relative to conscience.” He went on to say, ‘If I have been willing to die for a Mormon I am just as willing to die in defending the rights of a Presbyterian, a Baptist, or a good man of any other denomination for the same principle which would trample upon the rights of Latter-day Saints would trample upon the rights of any other denomination who may be unpopular and too weak to defend themselves.’”

Elder Rasband said that he can assure that Apostles and Prophets have given significant consideration to the position of the Church on religious freedom. He said, “We believe in following the commandments of God which are designed to secure our eternal happiness. However, God will force no man to heaven.

“We believe in creating a space for everyone to live their conscience without infringing on the rights and safety of others. When the rights of one group collide against the rights of another, we must follow the principle of being as fair and sensitive to as many people as possible. The Church believes and teaches in fairness for all. Protecting conscience is about safeguarding the way someone thinks and feels and their right to act on those beliefs.

“I am talking about someone telling you that the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you have are not allowed, valued or acceptable because your views are not popular. A war in heaven was fought for agency. It is a gross violation of that agency to force someone to betray their conscience because their views do not align with the crowd.

He said not to misunderstand him on this. When he spoke of being authentic, “the Lord does not give us a free pass to live anyway we choose without consequences. We are still accountable to Him for our choices. He has said, ‘Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father, which is in heaven, is perfect. “The commandment to seek after perfection implies we start where we are and seek the Lord’s help to lift us to where he wants us to go. Being true to our authentic self requires continual effort to increase our light, knowledge and understanding.”

Elder Rasband said that “the Church favors a balanced approach that secures the rights of all people.” At the January press conference on “Religious Freedom and Fairness to All”, Elder Oaks had said, “We call on local, state and the federal government to serve all of their people by passing legislation that protects vital religious freedoms for all individuals, families and churches and other faith groups, while also protecting the rights of our LGBT citizens in such areas as housing, employment and public accommodation, in hotels, restaurants and transportation, protections which are not available in many parts of the country.”

With the Church’s support within six weeks, Utah had passed a law that protected the LGBT community against eviction, housing discrimination or being fired from a job because of sexual orientation and at the same time protected religious people in the workplace and the public square.

Elder Rasband said, “No doctrinal or religious principles were sacrificed. No changes were made to God’s moral law and our belief that sexual relations should only occur within marriage between a man and a woman. The outcome was fair to all and reflects the consistency and moral teachings and respect for others.”

Elder Rasband made the following suggestions to negotiate the challenging times we live in regarding religious freedom.

“First, try to view others through a lens of fairness. To do this requires you to first acknowledge that Heavenly Father loves each of his children equally. He has said, ‘Love one another as I have loved you.’ There is no choice, sin or mistake that you or anyone else can make that will change his love for you or for them.

“That does not mean he excuses or condones sinful conduct, nor do we in ourselves or in others, but it does mean that we reach out in love to persuade, to help and to rescue. When you feel completely and perfectly loved, it is much easier to love others and see them the way the Savior does.

“Please turn to our Savior in prayer and ask to receive his pure love, both for yourself and for others. He has promised that you will feel his love if you ask in faith. Being filled with this pure love will guide your thoughts and actions, especially in a political arena that at times can be very contentious.

“Tensions can flare easily when discussing politics and especially when discussing religious freedom. If we allow these moments to get the better of us, we will appear very unchristian to our family, friends, neighbors and acquaintances Remember how the Savior handled tough questions and challenging viewpoints. He remained calm. He showed respect. He taught truth, but never forced anyone to live the way he taught.

“Second, let fairness guide your treatment of others. Jesus Christ looked past people’s ethnicity, race and circumstances in order to teach them simple truth. The Samaritan woman at the well, the Roman centurion, the unpopular publican.

“He has commanded us to follow his example, saying ‘Ye shall observe to do the things which you have seen me do. “Do not judge people or treat them differently because they sin differently than you or we do. Perhaps the greatest challenge in treating others fairly is in the balance required in supporting religious freedom when you have friends or family members who experience same-sex attraction or are firm supporters of their rights. Some of you worry that you will appear intolerant and unsupportive if you seek protections to exercise your faith publicly and freely.

“Again, study the life of our Savior and seek his guidance. The Savior demonstrated perfectly how to reach out in love and encouragement while also holding firm to what he knew to be true. Remember when the woman was caught in adultery? He asked for anyone without sin to step forward and to be the first to condemn her. When no one approached our Savior who was without sin, he commented, ‘Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.’

“The forgiveness and kindness he showed her did not contradict his teachings that sexual intimacy is meant for a husband and a wife who are legally and lawfully married. You too can be unyielding in right and truth yet still reach out in kindness. When Christ’s friends and followers ended their relationship with Him, He expressed sadness and pain. However when a relationship did end, it was because they were uncomfortable with his teachings, not because he was uncomfortable with them.

“As we seek to treat others fairly, we must remember the principle of agency. We must always respect the ability of others to make choices and ask that they extend to us the same courtesy. When talking with others about religious freedom we must always remember that we can disagree without becoming disagreeable. Please do not shy away from a dialogue regarding these important issues simply because you are worried that it might be difficult or uncomfortable. We can pray for help and we can expect that the Savior can help us act and speak in a way that is pleasing to Him.

“Third, I would encourage you to stand up for fairness if you see another’s rights being impeded… From the time of Joseph Smith to our present day, our legacy is reaching out to heal breaches and hurt without compromising the doctrine. That is not ours to trade away.”

Elder Rasband concluded with an appeal to the rising generation.

“I stand with the leaders of our Lord’s church when I say that we need your generation’s natural understanding of compassion, of respect and fairness. We need your optimism and your determination to work through these complex social issues.

“We have faith that you will turn to the Savior to understand how to live a Christ-like life when also showing fairness and love to others who do not share your beliefs. We know you want to be part of something meaningful and we know that you are resilient and collaborative.

“Most importantly, we need you to engage regarding the complexities of this issue and find solutions for how to best extend fairness to everyone including people of faith.

“These conversations need to be occurring in our schools, perhaps right here at Brigham Young University, in our homes, and in relationships with friends and co-workers. When you have these conversations, please remember the principle that we have discussed today which are simply these:

“See others through a lens of fairness. Treat them with respect and kindness and expect the same treatment in return.”